Avid

adjective
Showing great enthusiasm for or interest in.

When I was in high school, let’s say senior year or so, I developed an interest in coffee culture. This lead to a somewhat intense love affair with Jack Kerouac and the rest of the Beats that carried over into college and early post graduate life. I had such zeal for reading and devouring all things caffeine and bebop related…seeking out first editions in used bookstores, stumbling across magazine articles referencing Jack, Allen, Neal, William…listening to Charlie Parker and Miles Davis in smoky apartment rooms while scribbling feverishly into my journals… Avid.

I can’t tell you the last time that I picked up anything heavier than a magazine or the Sunday paper to read…and I certainly don’t write with the ferocity that I once did…definitely don’t remember the last line of verse I composed while listening in solitude to some lengthy improvisational saxophone solo.

My time is very rarely my own. Composing these blog entries daily this month has been a bit of a struggle. One I’ve plugged into my iCal as a daily task with three reminders, lest I let the last hours of the day slip away before fulfilling my NaBloPoMo obligations…

Have I completely lost my ability to be an avid fan of something? Does my brain possess the capacity to indulge myself for a few minutes a day, enjoying time to read while still taking care of all of the members of my family that I feel the need to attend to? Or am I reduced to eking out a few minutes here or there to read a trashy magazine rather than a few hours to get lost in a good book (I know there are a few out there that I should have read by now)…

I truly don’t take time to think about these things too often, given the rather routine nature of any given weekday…most hours and activities scheduled to a tee. But every once in a while, I get a chance to step back and look at this life I’ve made for myself. In trying to assess where I am and where I’m going from here, I need to remember not to forget the me in time. It’s entirely too easy to do and then, before you know it, today is over and another day begins.

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