much ado about to do

You know that part of the morning when you first wake up? When the day hasn’t really started yet and you’re just lying there, beginning to become aware of where you are and what day of the week it is?

That’s the part of the day that for some reason stresses me out the most.

I wake up every morning with a to do list already mounting in my head. Some of the items on my punch list are easy: shower, brush teeth, get dressed. Others just form sublists like things having to do with my son’s 2nd birthday party next weekend and organizing what needs to get done on which day in what order so that I’m not totally spinning out of control come next Friday/Saturday.

The chaos and self-imposed enormity of these mental lists is enough to exhaust me before I’ve even set foot out of the bed.

I’m rather horrible about asking for assistance in these instances. There are things that I, for whatever reason, feel like only I can do, or only I can do to my liking. Cleaning, cooking, decorating. I know if I were just to give a little direction to those around me willing to offer help I wouldn’t be eating up every last second of my non-existent free time constantly moving about from task to task. And yet I do. I do this to myself constantly. No wonder the days are flying by, I’m not taking a second to catch my breath and just enjoy them.

I need to find a way to slow down, to delegate better than I’m doing. If I don’t, I’m going to snap and this isn’t really the time of year for those sorts of sentiments. The only person I should really snap at is myself.

Sigh. I suppose I should add this to my to do list, eh?


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