Day two of my no-work, pre-delivery maternity leave week and today involves a few quick list items to check off before making sure I get some time to rest. One thing I realized yesterday was that I definitely don’t have the energy to just keep going throughout the day. I’m honestly trying to figure out how I did make it through my last week of work but am distinctly aware that this lack of energy is a gradually degenerative process, not something that has always been present.
God, I’m ready to have that energy back…just to feel like something isn’t tugging down at my hips and my back. The weight is beginning to be a bit unbearable, and I didn’t really put that much on. It’s just the positioning of this little being inside of me I suppose. Sometimes it truly feels like he/she’s knocking at the door just asking to come out, but then I realize that’s just the kid poking sharply at my already compressed bladder:).
I’m trying my best to remain present in these waning days of this chapter of my life, to look at everything how it is and drink it all in knowing that things will never be the same, and realizing how mundane a lot of my life is…perhaps this whole becoming a parent thing is more right than I realized…timed so perfectly that I didn’t even know it. A piece I didn’t have the opportunity to realize I was missing and then it will just be here, in our lives, filling in the void that we didn’t know was there.