The low hanging clouds have erased the treetops and the light seems kind of generic today, bathing the world in a sort of “whatever” hue. This is the first Wednesday I’ve worked in two weeks and it feels strange. Last night felt a bit like a Friday night. After sharing an amazing bottle of wine with my husband and indulging in spaghetti and meatballs (cue images of Lady and the Tramp in my head), I neglected to drag my somewhat detached body to bed at a reasonable hour and was a bit put off when the alarm sounded (for the 2nd time) at 5:50 am. The dog was less than eager to be chaperoned around the block in the dark, drippy morning and I felt the entire time as if I wasn’t present. I was just kind of inside myself, not doing anything, my limbs functioning automatically as if I were some programmed android.
Must shake the dust off my brain and start working again. Apparently just going to the gym every morning isn’t enough to jump start my day and get the blood pumping. I’m sure the weather has a LOT to do with it. I mean, who doesn’t want to stay couch-curled with a warm dog and a good book when it’s 34 degrees and rainy? I feel kind of stuck in this groundhog day-esque mood lately and I’d love to snap out of it. The words coming out of my mouth lately seem alien and unformed…and I have little control over their tone or meaning. Just lumpy is all. Need to find substance again, meaning, definition, life.
Maybe a little sunshine will fix it. Tomorrow?