tangled up in grey

I’m abandoning the alphabet this week in favor of writing whatever feels like escaping the confines of my very busy mind at this moment.

I try my hardest not to pay attention to the news. Not that I want to exist in a bubble or live in ignorance, in spite of the fact that ignorance is bliss, the news just isn’t too good these days. When the economy went down the crapper a wee bit back in the late 90’s early 2000’s, I was a lot younger, a lot more naive and a lot more willing to think it wouldn’t have any impact on my life. Sure, I knew people that got laid off, but it wasn’t anyone in my immediate circle. Now that I’m 8-10 years older and have a whole different world of responsibilites, both financial and personal, it all seems more scary. I always figured when I grew up that there wouldn’t really be much to be afraid of. I guess I was wrong. As I have mentioned in the past, I have worked the same job for over 10 years now. I’ve never been more afraid of not having my job than I do as of late. Companies letting folks go left and right. The job market being a little shriveled so that if I were to lose my job I’m not sure where I would run. From a financial standpoint, I’m a lot more secure than I was 8-10 years ago. In fact, my better half and I have been saving for a rainy day as of late…making sure that we’d be set for some sort of unemployment emergency. And we’re fortunate in that it’s just the two of us, plus dog plus house, and that we don’t carry a lot of debt. As I said, WORLDS apart from where I was financially in my younger days. I guess, at that point, I just felt more secure in my job. I’m trying not to let the grey around me pull me under. I’m trying to keep my head on straight and make sure that I do what I’m paid to do to the best of my abilities, proving myself worth the seat I sit in. I’m just concerned that may not be enough for too much longer. 

It’s a frightening world we live in these days, and all we can do is strap in and hold on tight.

I need my security blanket and my teddy bear, maybe a parachute.

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