So I have a question for the guy in front of me on the GW Parkway this morning, the one in the navy blue pickup truck, arm casually hanging out of the window at 10 til 7. . .do you work somewhere, live somewhere, exist on some plane where having a pair of rubberized testicles hanging off of your tow hitch is acceptable? I’m really, really curious about the type of man that thinks this is a good idea, not only the purchasing but also the displaying of prosthetic ‘nads in public. Is he married? Does he have children? Does he have a dog that licks these when the vehicle is parked at home? Where does one buy tow hitch ballsacks? Bass Pro Shops? Rednecks R-Us? Seriously. Where? Because I think maybe my little 2-door Civic could really use a pair, only make mine the brass ones. I mean, if you’re going to just have your balls out there for the world to see, they may as well be brass.
The things I have to encounter and process before 7am blow my mind. Entirely too early to be exposed to such things, really.