shadow of self doubt

I present a pretty strong front. I believe purely and totally in myself and what I’m capable of. That being said, I just had an interview for the first time in nearly 10 years. I’m quite pleased that it was over the phone and not in person. I do feel that I’m the best candidate for the position, but I’m letting that little sense of doubt creep in and make me uncomfortable. Did I speak too much? Did I stumble over what I was trying to say. Did I say the right things? Did I say the wrong things? Do they think I’m an idiot, all talk, no walk. . .It’s good to put one’s ego in check every once in a while but I feel downright ill right now. I really do want this position. Opportunities like this don’t open up too often in my company. I’m just not entirely sure if the conversation I left behind is what’s going to get me where I want to be. This is healthy, right? Not being cocky, not thinking that it’s in the bag. I’ve thought all along that this is mine to lose, mine to screw up. My performance record is stellar. I have glowing reviews. Am I the right person for this job based on the answers to the questions I was asked? Man, I could really use a drink right now to calm my nerves. Something to take the edge off. Because all I can do, now that the words are out there, the answers have been given, is sit tight and wait. This is going to go over well with my insides, it’ll be like waiting to get proposed to all over again. 

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2 thoughts on “shadow of self doubt

  1. I still haven’t heard all of the details of this new position – you’ll have to fill me in sometime soon…

    I think the way you’re feeling is good – when do you hear the outcome of it all?

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