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As if being a new mom and getting used to all of that isn’t enough…yesterday the joys of home ownership also played a part in the sheer exhaustion and overwhelmedness (not even sure that’s a word) that is my life right now. Around 9 am, while doing a load of laundry, the drain pipe to our house decided to get backed up and start leaking grey water. This resulted in a half-finished, rather sopping wet load of darks in the washer, a pot full of stinky drainwater, and a very frazzled mom & dad (that being my husband and myself, not my parents.) Long story short, we had a plumber come out, diagnose the situation, which resulted in a very lengthy snaking of our drain pipe. Thank god my father and husband were both around.
At the end of the day, we all survived. We all slept. And life goes on.
Ten tasty toes, originally uploaded by dharmabumx.
The fussy is what gets you, what gets to you, what picks at that last shred of your sanity that you swear you can hold onto so that you seem more together when you go out in public. I realize I’ve got a little bit of a license to be off my rocker. I’ve got a 5 day old infant. I’m breastfeeding. My hormones are in the process of receding to normal levels. Going to the bathroom is a bit of a challenge due to birth recovery. Day becomes night becomes day without any sort of separation. I haven’t slept in the same bed with my husband for more than 2 hours since last Monday night. So yes, I have many reasons to not be at my best. But I feel I should be able to be a little more on top of it than I am tonight.
The fussy is when you can’t stop the crying, the screaming, the pained faces…you comfort, you feed, you change, you soothe, you walk, you rock, you pacify and yet you don’t see any results. You feel like an absolute failure as a mother and this is amplified by the fact that you’re a bit sleep deprived and it’s 1am and all you want to be doing is sleeping. I’ve had one night like this so far and I’m hoping tonight’s not a repeat. I realize not every night in this new adventure will be as seamless as last night. But I don’t know if I can handle it tonight.
I’m off to hopefully grab 1 good hour of sleep before taking on the night with my son. Hoping against all hopes that tonight isn’t fussy.
It’s official, I’m a mom. At 11:31 pm last night, I held my firstborn son in my arms for the first time and bawled like I’ve never bawled before. Tears of joy and emotions unmatched by anything I’ve ever felt before. And now I’m exhausted, and fully plan to detail his birth story before the week is up, but wanted to mark the occasion of my son’s first day on this planet.
Welcome, Alva Donald…it’s very nice to meet you.
