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I feel like a broken record as of late. All work and no play makes Beth a dull girl, I suppose…
The playing I have been doing is rather repetitive as well…baseball games, beer, running…lather, rinse, repeat.
My brain feels a bit like an answering machine, not fully able to process anything that’s coming at it. . .recording the information to be played back at a later date when the rest of my body can listen and not just hear squawking noises and static.
I’m having one of those weeks where the day of the week is rather irrelevant. I sit here, focusing on getting my work done, meeting my deadlines, and figuring out how much of it I’ll be taking home over the weekend. For me there is no beginning or end right now. . .just the constant clicking of fingers on the keyboard, the scanning of eyes across the screen, checking, rechecking, confirming, relinking and occasionally being creative, but who’s got time for that kind of right-brained activity. My spirits are fairly high, though, which is rather amazing considering how much of myself I feel I’ve had to give this week. Perhaps I’m finding something satisfying in being utterly exhausted, mentally, at the end of the day. . .so much so that the idea of watching a movie makes my brain ache and the mindless lack of action (especially considering the team I follow) of a baseball game is ever so much more appealing.
I began my day, after arriving at the gym, by running a nice 3-mile loop in my office park. It definitely wasn’t as crisp and pleasant as Tueday morning run was, as I found myself covered in a thin layer of sweat very early on. It was, however, refreshing to my brain. Kick out the cobwebs and start making the to do list while enjoying some tunes and watching the world wake up. It’s these little moments I turn to when the world is closing in on me, moments that I draw strength from. .. moments that I miss on days, like yesterday, that I’m not feeling well and have to skip my workouts (and my yoga class, man, that bummed me out). My feet fuel the little voice inside my head that says “keep going, just a little further now…” Running gives me the strength to achieve my potential in other aspects of my life and I rather enjoy realizing how one impacts the other.
For the past two weeks I’ve been racing toward my own personal finish line, and today, I’ll reach it. Do I have enough left in the tank to kick towards the end? Finish strong? I’d like to think so.
In all of the hectic, manic, frantic craziness of work in the past week, one thing has remained fairly constant. I’ve been starting out my day with a playlist I compiled that consists of Coldplay (every album plus an EP), Keane (both albums), Blue Merle and, until recently, Remy Zero. It’s the only playlist I consistently go back to day in and day out and it’s about 9 hours long, so it can get me through the day and then some. It blends rather seamlessly into the background of my day as my fingers fly across the keyboard and my mouse moves quickly across the mouse pad, keeping me sane, keeping me at peace, reminding me to breathe, reminding me that everything’s not lost…
After one night of respite, getting out of here at 5pm, I can already tell, in the time I’ve been composing this rather lackluster post, that today’s going to be a ballbuster. With that in mind, I’m going to abandon my efforts to say anything witty or fascinating or deep and insightful and get on with it. Time’s not slowing down for me today, as much as I wish it would. Seems like this week’s been a strand of endless days and rather brief nights. I can’t wait until I get to interview assistants next week. This is definitely more than one person can handle at this point, as much as I don’t like to admit it. I need help, directly, in front of me, getting this job done.
Wednesday? Right? Just checking. I can’t remember what day it is anymore.
